Dear Howard
by Psych'd
Summary: The Pacifier 2005. A letter from Julie Plummer to her dead husband two months after the movie ends. Oneshot.


**_Dear Howard _**_by Psych'd_

Author's Note: This was written out of boredom.

Disclaimer: This story makes use of characters and situations created and owned by Disney, not me. All events stated that happen outside of the original storyline are all original.

Warnings: Pointless. One-shot.

* * *

Dear Howard, 

It's been two months since GHOST was returned to the Department of Defense. Two months since you've left this world, and even more since I've last seen you. So much has happened, to the kids, Lt. Wolfe, and me in these short few months.

Lt. Wolfe has decided to settle down here in Bethesda and work in the kids' school. He took over the wrestling coach from Coach Murney and works avidly for the Drama Department's new plays. Right now, it's _Oliver!_. I know he's not a lieutenant anymore now, but I just can't shake off the habit of calling him Lieutenant Wolfe. Call me whatever you want, Howard, but I still call him Lt. Wolfe!

Lt. Wolfe also is dating Principal Fletcher, something that the kids can't stop talking about at mealtimes. I keep telling them to change the subject, but they never really listen. I'm sure you'd love to hear them going on about it though: talking about where they've gone the other night for a date, which streets they've walked through, and which hotels they've stayed for the night. I suppose it's lucky that Lt. Wolfe doesn't live with us anymore to hear all this.

You know, I could have sworn that Lt. Wolfe smells less nice after my return from Zurich than before. He smells faintly like sewage! Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if the kids have played a few toilet pranks on him. But he says that they got along fine, and by how sad the kids and he seemed when he had to go, I really do believe him. I never told him what I smelled from him. It's probably just because Zurich was overly fragrant or something like that.

Lt. Wolfe also told me that Zoë has been dating a boy called Scott! Can you believe that? She's been going out with him for months apparently, and has been breaking into our house to see her. I cannot believe that! Apparently, they've already broken up though, and as much as I should feel bad that Zoë's first date ended badly, I feel a bit relieved, almost happy to hear that. But don't tell her I said that.

Zoë's also passed her Driver's Ed Test with flying colors, which was a big surprise for me. She claims that she'd been studying the class very hard all term, never missing a single lesson. But then Lt. Wolfe also said that he'd given her lessons on driving to 'make up for all the classes she missed.' Personally, I know whom to believe more. But don't tell her I said that.

As for Seth, he quit wrestling practice. I hate to tell you, Howard, but Seth's never liked wrestling at all. Instead, he's turned to a new hobby: acting! Soon after GHOST was secured in the Department of Defense, we all went to watch Seth in _The Sound of Music_. He was Rolfe, a Nazi, and boyfriend to one of the kids. It was the first time I heard him sing, you know. He has a voice that can put anyone to shame! You as well, Howard, because you do _not_ sing well. If only you could've watched it with us, I'm sure you'd agree with me.

His next performance is next month, when he's performing as the Artful Dodger in _Oliver!_, which Lt. Wolfe's directing. I never understood why he tried out for Dodger, really. I mean, Dodger's supposed to be an _undersized_ adult, but Seth's really just an _oversized_ teenager! Regardless, they accepted him anyway.

Seth also seems a lot, well, happier. I've never really seen him in clothes with even the tiniest hint of color since I forced him to wear a bright red swimsuit a few years ago. Now he's wearing bright blues, and grays, and yellows, and greens, and all sorts of colors that I'm not bothered to write. He also had a massive haircut, and dyed his hair blonde. Now we've got three blonde kids in the family, and two brunettes! You see, Howard, my genes _are_ a lot stronger than yours.

Lulu's still involved in the Fireflies, and I'm still their den mother. She told me that Lt. Wolfe had to be the den mother for two weeks and I was so shocked! I had entirely forgotten to tell him about it! Well, it did them some good anyway. From what Lulu's told me, he's taught them some basic martial arts to defend themselves and their cookies. I know how you've always wanted Lulu to learn something a bit more self-defensive than cookie selling. Well I certainly hope you're happy, now that no boys will ever dare to harm her. Or her cookies.

Lulu's also the saddest to see Lt. Wolfe leave the family. In fact, so was everyone else. It's almost as if he was a third parent to them. I don't suppose there's anything that can be done about that though. At least Lulu's much happier now that she can see him everyday at school, even if he's a teacher instead of a babysitter. Which reminds me, whenever I call Lt. Wolfe a babysitter, Lulu always manages to get angry with me and tell me (very loudly) that he is _not_ a babysitter. Well that made me pretty speechless.

Peter's going to playschool soon. There isn't a lot I can say about him, other than the fact now he wants _me_ to do the Peter Panda Dance since Lt. Wolfe's gone. So thank you very much for making me embarrass myself every night, Howard. Helga has been watching me doing it without bothering to suppress her laughter, and I think it's all your fault, even if it's to prevent the most powerful defensive program from falling into the clutches of absolute evil.

Speaking of Helga, she had run away from the house while Lt. Wolfe was taking care of the kids. When I tried to ask her to come back, she downright refused and began ranting on the phone. Then I invited her to watch _The Sound of Music_ with us, and she agreed right after, saying that we had to provide us with free tickets to every performance Seth was in. I was in no position to disagree. I needed her to take care of Peter and Tyler while I worked on my new fulltime job. Yes, Howard, even with the money you left for us, we still need some kind of income to sustain us, you know.

Well, that's about all that'd happened since you left us. I know how much the kids mean to you, so I tried to put in as much about them as possible, but that's really all I can say. Since you can't watch them grow up anymore, I might as well write it all out to you. The kids and I all miss you.

Lots of Love,

Julie

Mrs. Plummer sat back from her letter, slightly angry that she had let a teardrop stain her writing. She opened the desk drawer and took out a matchbox. Memories poured out from her mind as she sat by the dim lamplight, staring at the letter she had written to her dead husband. She felt another tear roll down her cheek.

A single matchstick blazed to life after a sharp, hoarse sound echoed across the room. _I love you Howard, even if you're no longer around to love me back. I love you._

Mrs. Plummer brought the lighted match to her letter, whose ink had barely dried, and watched as it burned away.


End file.
